I’d like to start by apologizing to those of you thinking “STOP PINGING ME, I’M JUST HERE FOR :penguinspin:.” If you’re one of those people, you should really just turn off pings by now.
Anyway, in the spirit of tying up loose ends, hey! If you don’t know me, I’m Brenatto, a Second-in-Command who joined this little server called the Rebel Penguin Federation about 2 years ago (5/25/2019) and, if you haven’t guessed yet, this is my retirement post.
You’ve made it to paragraph 3, which means you didn’t just open the link, press Ctrl+F, and check if I mentioned you, oh joy! I’m glad to have you aboard – don’t worry, I’ll make it short. I joined, ranked up, malded for several months because I didn’t want to sound whiny when I wasn’t getting promoted past General after 8 months, “popped off” as HCOM (i.e., became a “yes man” and made some graphs). Yadda yadda. You don’t care about me chronicling 2 years’ worth of memories in under 2000 words, and I don’t mind at all. The focus is always on the end, not the journey, after all.
Maybe you’re thinking, “Just get to the damn point, the part where you paste the ranks page and say, ‘Thank you all for contributing to my experience,’ minutes before you disparage those same people.” Don’t worry about that either: I literally do not care that much. However, there’s a few people that I’m going to donate some clout to:
jstoryhead – I’ll be honest with you, man, I don’t think I could vocalize everything your friendship means to me, especially in this impersonal format. You know I’m bad at staying in touch, but those days we were talking every day were some of my favorite of my entire “career.” I can’t say how grateful I am that somehow, we became friends (what am I, a parasocial andy?) Seriously: thank you for all the good times we’ve had. Stay dragonhearted. Take care of yourself. I’m always a message away.
thedillpickle5 – “You’re shouting out a dude who hasn’t been alive in a year instead of me?” some of you are probably thinking. And the answer is: hell yeah. To Dill: though I know you’ll never read this (legit where did you go??), I think you deserve this spot. SWNT and your copypastas were both bizarre and fun, and I wish I could have that kind of experience again. Hope you’re doing okay, wherever you are.
yo gal – hey. despite all of the out-of-pocket things you say (and trust me, there’s a lot), i’m glad i got the chance to mentor you. you have a good, albeit snarky, head on your shoulders, so don’t let anything consume you in the post-penguin life. never lose your unique humor, and do not write an essay about me please please plea
Yvng – Shoulda retired, like, 9 days later man 😤. On a serious note, it was awesome mentoring you. You’ve been an awesome e-girl dude from the start (throwback to me DMing you as a troop like, “Yo, good to see you at this event!!!”) I truly admire your dedication, work ethic, and steadfast determination. Keep up the good work, whatever you do next.
Jeremy: You’re brilliant, witty, and you give me too much credit. Do great things as HCOM, but make sure you enjoy doing them. 🤝
Eskild: An honor to have as a mentee. Go do great things (and don’t retire like me)!
Mac: You’re unbelievably talented and kind. I hope one day, you internalize that.
Royal: As my mentee, you always worked so hard. I hope that takes you to great places.
Teal: I couldn’t have hoped to recruit anyone better. Thanks for being a spark of inspiration, pika pi!
Yas: Your unwavering genuineness and positivity are rare qualities. Don’t lose them.
yoshi: It takes so much strength to be as kind as you are. Make sure you care for yourself.
Diamond2309: My fellow Critter and such a sweet recruit. Hope you’ve been well!
blu29h: Your cleverness always shocked me. One of the funniest people to talk to – ORA ORA ORA
Lotte: Meant a lot to be accepted as a good acquaintance for a time :iseeyou:
Elex & F6: Thank you especially for believing in me (and for accepting me as a ghostleedur obviously /j)
Cheese: Thanks for all the encouragement you gave me, and for introducing me to FE. AIIIIKUUUU
Junebug: A lovely presence to talk with in #main-chat. You should do that more!
Bob Rees: Have you been to E10?
and, of course, shoutout to MAFA, [redacted]™, <3, TEA, Bebel Tenguin Sederation, SWNT, Taters, Terra, Armada, Aegis, Rebel Broadcast Team, and the monkes who were nice to me (to the point where I thought everyone was making fun of me :emo:); [he who shall not be named]’s alts, the Artichoke Arsonist, Google Sheets, bubble tea, golf, and my personality – which is both searing hot and ice cold at the same time; and you, the reader, I guess. Unless you skipped to the end just so that you could act like you read it all, in which case, shove off, eh?
And now it’s time for some Q&A!
Q: Do you have any plans of rejoining in the future?
Alright, and that’s the end of Q&A!
Even though this post is veiled in so many layers of irony that I might seem irreverently bitter, I hope that something in here made you crack a smile. If I’ve ever wronged you on any level, I really do apologize. I’d hate to have put out bad vibes into the world, but it’s unrealistic to think I didn’t. Hopefully, karma kicks my ass or something. But if I got one person to think, “Hey, that Brenatto kid made my life slightly better than it would’ve been otherwise,” that’s all I can ask for.
Thank you, and have a good night.