══ ⋆★⋆ TUXEDO TIMES ⋆★⋆ ══

Week of August 16th, 2026

The inside scoop from the Summer Olympics is coming in our next issue! But before then, we’re giving you a sneak peek at the tournaments by interviewing a few of our gold medalists! Check out this week’s edition to see what the winners have to say, along with your weekly RPF updates.

You can check the latest edition of Tuxedo Times with the .tuxedotimes command!

—◊ Weekly Maxes and Averages ◊—

—◊ Maxes ◊—

AUSIA: 37 (20⇓)
EU: 64 (1⇑)
US: 48 (1⇓)

—◊ Averages ◊—

AUSIA: 36 (21⇓)
EU: 59 (9⇑)
US: 46 (3⇓)
Total: 47 (5⇓)

—◊ Weekly News ◊—

Shine Bright Like Monistar!

It was Monistar’s time to shine this week as she was awarded the title of Troop of the Week #404! She joined RPF just over a month ago and has been a star member ever since. As one of our newest Majors, Monistar is a great example of how positivity and participation can help you step into the spotlight. For her outstanding efforts during the Summer Olympics, she also took home the Team MVP trophy! Congratulations on this achievement, Monistar!

—◊ By the Numbers ◊—

How many Rebels were promoted last week?

With a total of 44 new promotions, there were…

1 Lieutenant General
1 Major General
2 Captains
4 Lieutenants
4 Specialists
2 Sergeants
11 Corporals
19 Privates

Does anyone have ice for HCOM’s burns?

RPF was long overdue for an HCOM roast, so General Thomas used his Event Planner to schedule one! 8 Officers teamed up to sling sick burns.
They drafted 50 word tactics to prep for the event, and during, they used 32 of their word tactics and supplemented with 21 emotes.

How much do the Rebels yearn for Mancala?

After RPF’s Olympics were announced, our server (mostly) jokingly begged Rebel Commander Gabi for a Mancala tournament, to which she responded with an Isabelle’s Announcement of the Day to make it clear Mancala was not in the cards.
However, our members still talked about mancala 107 times in #main-chat.

—◊ Tuxedo Comics ◊—

BOOM! Roasted. HCOM was put on the burner while our Generals served up a classic roast. As a General themselves, Kipbip couldn’t miss out on dedicating this week’s comic to the sizzling event!

Officers will ALWAYS jump at a chance to roast their leaders! (Mostly)

—◊ Challenge of the Week ◊—

Did someone turn the heat up? For this week’s challenge, Miggy has created a Jigsaw Puzzle sure to keep you cool. Click the image below for the puzzle and then fit the pieces together to help this guy make a big splash!

DM Miggywaddles on Discord the solved Jigsaw puzzle for a prize of 250 Rebel Cash and to progress towards the Blossoming Bookworm role!

Keep in mind, puzzle responses must be submitted before the next issue is released to be valid.

Do you have a comic or puzzle idea you’d like to see in an upcoming issue? Send it in using our Tuxedo Times Suggestion Form and our team just might use your idea!

—◊ Community Spotlight ◊—

“As the summer season comes to an end, we celebrated by hosting our Summer Olympics! Rebels competed in this Animal Crossing themed event to win medals for their teams, and here I am interviewing some of our gold medalists!”

The 2026 RPF Summer Olympics banner designed by our Second in Command Steax

“I interviewed 3 gold medalists – Colonel Tomtombombomtimtamtamalam from Team Kofu, Colonel Clutterbot from Team Ongaku, and Specialist Koconinja for Team Okane.

My first question to all 3 was, “How did you feel seeing that you won gold for your team?”

Tomtom was rather confident when he won in Catchin’ Waves, as he has been playing the game for 4-5 years in the RPF Olympics and had won medals before. Clutterbot was in shock when they won their Card-Jitsu gold medal, especially since they had to sub-in for someone after being knocked out in the first round. Talk about a come back! Koconinja felt like they were on a redemption arc in Smoothie Smash since they struggled to win medals in our previous Olympics.

My second question was, “If you could bring any game into the RPF Olympics, what would it be?”

Tomtom mentioned that Jet Pack Adventure would be a fun game to do, wherein you collect as many coins as you can within a time limit. This was done as a team event in 2021 for the Branch Spirit Week. Clutterbot answered with either Jigsaw Jam and Bean Counters. They said that Jigsaw Jam would be a speedrun competition. Koconinja suggested a Hydro Hopper competition, that would act as an endurance run to see who could survive the longest.

Thank you Tomtombombomtimtamtamalam, Clutterbot, and Koconinja for the interviews! Congratulations on your gold medals!”

Thank you for the report, Patty!

—◊ Division Recap ◊—

—◊ Sunday ◊—

»AUSIA«

Max: 36
Avg: 36

Bobbing along in their floaties, what a sight to see! Operation: Floatie Fun included a train of Rebels going with the flow on CPJ – Blizzard. All worries were melted away as the current kept the event flowing at a smooth, relaxing pace. Check out the chill times below!
– Mollsr